The Cleansing Tears

I’m sitting quietly in the beautiful kitchen at my son and daughter-in-law‘s house. The dishwasher is humming in the background and three, yes, three huge dogs are sleeping on the couch. Son and his wife have left for the hospital - baby number two will arrive today. My youngest son who also lives here has left for work, and my grandson is still sleeping. I’m sitting at the island with a coffee and my book, feeling strangely emotional. This is such a happy time. I don’t know why I want to cry. I do know why.  There have been so many sad times these last months, my tears are never far. I wonder why life has to be so hard. So many of these hardships are not my story to tell. There is a very sad and rare disease, and a young family struggling with facing that disease. There is a life that is stalled, needing time to heal and get back on track.  There was a death too young. There was another death far far too young. But today there will be joy. There will be a new baby, grandson number 10 to cuddle and snuggle. And I have the great honour of being invited to stay here as long as I want.  (my sweet daughter-in-law jokes that I’m going to stay a month or two; I think they would tire of me by then so I’ll call it in a week). I was browsing some blogs and sipping my coffee waiting for my busy beautiful grandson Ford to wake when I came upon this quote and it just hit me so hard.

“i sat with my anger long enough until she told me her real name was grief.” -c.s. lewis

There are many things the universe has brought lately and I have wondered why and I have felt angry and I have felt sad and I remember that one has to go through these phases in life. For today, I will embrace the joy. I will play with this little boy. I will hold that baby and cry tears of joy and I will patiently wait for what life will bring us next. 

Pat xo